Dear Man in 9D,
I am sincerely sorry for the spillage. It was due to my boredom on the flight that i took to stacking all my slightly poked at food items on top of one another like a gastronomic Kerplunk!
I was not to know that the flight attendant would choose to remove the fork on which the uneaten salad and opened ranch dressing was balancing on, thus causing it to land on your very white t-shirt, clean crisp blue jeans and more importantly nicely shaved head. Who knew that so much ranch dressing could be held in such a small container?
I am also sorry that i laughed. That was mean. I really was sorry but i realise it might of lacked sincerity as i tried to suppress my giggles. There you are at least 6ft 6in, 250 pounds plus, squashed into a tiny space already miserable, it's not like you needed to be covered in lettuce, tomatoes and dressing. I realise in my attempt to remove the dressing from your head i might of made matters worse, possibly more embarrasing for the both of us.
Let's just pretend it never happened.
Yours Regrettably,
Sam (9C)
Currently Listening to: 69 Love Songs - The Magnetic Fields, Empire of the Sun - Walking on a Dream
Currently Watching: 30 Rock, Oceans 11 (Original)
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