Ogunquit, ME

It's 11.15pm, time to go to bed as it's a big day tomorrow.  Tonight we are sharing a room at The Neptune Inn, a little motel on the beach with views from our room right along the Oqunquit spit. I am sure that on most days the view would be a beautiful one, but today it has been marred by fog, wind and lashings and lashings of rain. 

I'm all for it being a little overcast and drizzly, i was bought up with that kind of weather but today it pissed down for the whole 140 miles from Northampton and you can't see shit. Glad i wasn't driving. Go Lenny Go!

Aside from Lenny's superb driving skills i have also never been more grateful for my new friend David the Island Man, leaving his anorak behind. Actually, this bright yellow wonder jacket was his Dad's who passed it to David who left it on purpose at my Bleecker St apt and i just happened to be needing one. Little did i know just how much i would need it.   I love it. It's very Finnish or Swedish, just like David's Island,  Orland, it has an identity crisis.

How we found the chapel Marita & Daks are getting married in tomorrow i will never know. Something to do with two exit 7  turnoffs and crossing states but we finally figured it out.

We had rehearsals at 4.00pm so after a little souvenir shopping in Northampton we made our way up to Maine.  In fairness, even in dismal weather Oqunquit looks very quaint and cute. I haven't had much time for a look around though as we had to check in to the hotel, change clothes and turn around to drive back towards Portland, NH where the chapel sits nestled in a little wood off the back roads of Portland.

Let's just say that for once the rehearsal was needed. Dak's mother is Russian Orthodox something i don't think i knew about but for certain none of us knew that the wedding service was going to be Russian Orthodox. I don't think Marita & Daks knew what it was going to entail.  All of a sudden i am holding a crown above Marita's head with a hanky and following her around a table 3 times.  Already nerve wracking but add high heels, dress trains and bouquets tomorrow and i have a feeling things are going to get a little hairy.  Another reason to be in bed early, one does not to need to add a hangover to the mix.

The rehearsal dinner followed the Maine tradition of Seafood Chowder, Steamed Clams and Lobster at The Lobster Shack which Daks's parents hired out for the evening. I have to say it was delicious and by far the best lobster and clams i have ever had.  No wonder Daks is a seafood snob.

So now i have a belly full of lobster and after watching the very embarrassing debate between McCain & Obama it's going to be lights out for me.

Miles Travelled: 160

Currently Watching: Hotel TV movies - Blow Out with Jeff Bridges.

Currently listening to: Krista typing beside me. Very close beside me.

Currently reading: Google travel directions.

Northampton, MA

I am in Northampton, MA stopping over for the night enroute to Marita & Daks wedding in Maine this weekend, but this post won't be so much about what appears to be a cute little town. Instead it will be almost completely dedicated to Great Lake Swimmers.

I've just got back from seeing this awesome Canadian band at a great little venue called The Iron Horse with Krista and Lenny my road trip companions.

I'll set the scene, it's the start of fall, the trees are starting to turn from green to brown and pumpkins line the window sills of all the quaint antique stores.  Big houses with wrap around porches line the wide quiet streets, it was almost impossible to get a drink or even pizza past 9pm .

The Iron Horse is a small venue with  a cabin in the mountains type feel. For me, if the mountains could sing they would sound just like Great Lake Swimmers.  Tony Dekker's voice is like rough velvet and when i close my eyes i smell the damp ferns surrounding a cool lake with waterboatmen and dragonflys buzzing off it. The chilly air warded of by the warmth of a log fire and the taste of a rustic red wine and a hearty stew dancing together in my mouth.  The lyrics are pure poetry that just envelopes my whole heart and transports me to the mountains of Oregon or WA.

I love Great Lake Swimmers.  Various Stages, a song about manic depression brings to mind a troubled ex, "i have seen you at various stages of undress, i have seen you at various stages of madness, i have seen you be wreckless in matters of love, i have seen the boiling point come and go" Rocky Spine gives me hope of how i'd like to feel about a future love.

Now, time to bed. We are staying at the very colonial Autumn Inn. Lenny in his bed and Krista and i sharing a rather small double. It's fall, time to get cosy.

Listening to: Back Stage with the modern dancers - Great Lake Swimmers

Portland, OR

Well i'm down to my last couple of hours in Portland and i am spending it in the hotel, Lenny on his bed, me on mine, watching the TV, facebooking and blogging. Like a modern day Bert and Ernie. He's Bert.

We drove back from Union on Sunday after a post wedding brunch.  I was feeling more than a little tired due hosting a post wedding party in our hot tub until 3.00am so we just drove the 5 back to Portland rather than taking the 6 hour coastal rode. Another reason to come back to the Pacific Northwest.  

The wedding was lovely, went without a hitch and everybody enjoyed themselves. Lots of dancing, no one can resist a Michael Jackson medley or a slow dance to U2's 'All I Want Is You' but when they bought out the conga, i made a swift exit to the ladies room.  What is it about wedding gear that makes you dance so ridiculously? Maybe it's the high heels but no matter what i did i couldn't stop myself from dancing just like my mum when she dances to Tina Turner.

It will be sad to leave Portland, i like it a lot. It's exactly how i expected it to be after reading about the Pacific Northwest. It's very Pacific Northwestern.

Something that was definitely Pacific Northwestern was the Oregon Brewers Festival

They all came walking out of the woods for this one and many of them didn't bother to wash and shave. Lenny and I are pretty weak beer drinkers, I mostly drink spirits and wine and the closest i get to a beer is a shandy. However, when in rome and all that.  We got ourselves a mug and some taster coupons and went for it. We did not have a clue which of the 75 different beers to try so we stuck to West Coast brews and tried 2 organic and 2 non organic. A couple of IPA's and a couple of ales. They all tasted the same to me...blurgh.   So that's 4 tastings. We sat next to a guy who had obviously made his way through half and was hoping to hit 70 just that day. He had been everyday out of 5 days.

Aside from the fact that i can't stand the taste of beer i still really enjoyed myself. I especially liked the Whoo Hooing.  All it took was a single person in a giant beer tent to "Woo Hoo" and then the whole tent whooped and hollered for about a minute after. Pretty impressive.

 One of the highlights was the 10 mile bike ride we went on yesterday along the Willamitte Waterfront and the Springwater Corridor.  The path was lined with the most colorful wild flowers i had ever seen, fox gloves, tall dandelions, poppies, baby's breathe, Forget-Me-Not's etc and the scent of them as you rode along was intoxicating. The dandelion fluff created a layer on the path and between the flowers that looked like fog from a distance and piles of cotton wool up close.  We rode through wetland, past Ross Island into the small neighbourhood of Sellwood and back.  The Springwater loop runs for 40 miles and had i known beforehand i would of scheduled the time to do it. It would be worth coming back for.

We made another trip to Powell's because Lenny hadn't been. I told him i would stay in the front of the store by the magazines and wait for him. The next thing i know i am lost in the Orange section thumbing through the literature shelves.  It's just the smell of all those books that just draws you in.

We spent the evening having dinner with  Jason's parents and sister at The Chart House

A little uptown and swanky for my taste but the food was delicious (I had the dynamite Mahi-Mahi) and the view was magnificent. It overlooks the whole of Portland with views of both Mount Hood and Mount St.Helene. 

So now, i've the flight back to NY to look forward to. I was just notified that i have been upgraded to First Class again...shame.

Union, MA

It's 12.45am and i'm writing this from a cabin in Union WA. It;s a small blink and you will miss it town on the Hood Canal which is about 2.5 hours north of Portland. It's the location of Jason & Elicia's wedding and today is the rehearsal.

I had a relatively easy drive up this afternoon on the 5 interstate, i say relatively because i did have to stop to inflate the tires in my rental car. Actually, i didn't inflate anything but the garage assistant i cosied up to did a sterling job. A flashing symbol on the dashboard have me pull over and check the car instructions. Apparently my tires were low on air. I have never, ever put air in the tires of any car i owned and i was utterly clueless on how to approach it. You shoudl see me putting air in my bike, i am a jumpy person and have a fear of having the tires just pop on me. The air container thing at the garage gave no clues, it just gave me air for 75c. How much air for 75c i don't know and how am i supposed to know how much to put in? I was perplexed. I played around a bit as i like to figure things out for myself and have a bash but then i had flashbacks to my burnt dresses and did not want to be responsible for blowing up the tires on my rental car so went into the garage and actually asked for help. It was so much easier that way, i think i could get used to it. They were low so the TPMS (Tire Pressure Monitoring System) was on the ball.

The scenery along the 5 was quite beautiful especially when you are used to the NJ Turnpike, but Lenny and i plan on taking the longer coastal route on our way back on Monday.

The wedding is at the Alderbrook Resort& Spa which is very lovely. It kind of reminds me of the resort in Dirty Dancing. Plush cabins, sweeping lawns, it even has it's own seaplane landing strip. Alas the resort was booked out by the time Lenny and i got around to booking so we are staying in what resembles the staff quarters across the street (we are not alone as so are half the bridal party) and unfortunately there's no Patrick Swayze waiting for me with a watermelon. Instead i get Dave, the owner of the Union Bay Cabins. Dave looks like he has spent far too much time living out here in the woods and has forgotten how to eat because half his dinner is down the front of his shirt and pants, yet he still gets some in his mouth because he can barely walk due to his expansive gut. He hates democrats. Something he made sure to tell us about when we mentioned being from NY.
Our cabin is fine although Lenny is concerned about the number of spiders it accommodates. I have heard several girly cries and 'oh cripes; from him as he scans the walls and cielings for the unwelcome guests. He refuses point blank to poop in the bathroom for fear of being attacked on the rear. He also has a fawcet right above his bed which is slightly random. I am tempted to get up in the middle of the night and turn it on.
We do have a hot tub though so the leaky toilet, very well worn sheets and dank musty smell about place is forgiven.

The rehearsal went well considering none of us know what's going on. It was great to see Jason. After the rehearsal and great bbq feast we had for dinner, i joined him and the groomsmen for some xbox action and porn talk. I haven't seen him for over a year and seeing as it's his fault i am having to don a dress and carry a parasol i felt it only right to give him a chinese burn as pay back.

The wedding is at 5pm tomorrow but it's hard work being a bridesmaid. I have a gym session at 8am and then i am booked in for an outdoor stone massage and facial before heading over to get dressed with the bride around noon...i guess that's when she'll see the dress. Did i mention she was a designer? She's going to notice.

Portland, OR

I flew into Portland, Oregon this morning and it was love at first sight for me. I don't know Portland's feeling on the matter.  Oregon from above is breathtaking, straight from Outdoor magazine. Mount Hood seemed as though it was in touching distance and i could almost smell the damp wood and fern of the forests that surrounded it.  It appeals to the romantic side of me that would give up the city in a NY minute to go live in the woods with some big hairy woodsman and chop logs, cook on an old Aga and drink copious amounts of wine after spending the day Kayaking. Alas, i have to be back in NY for meetings by Wednesday so it's unlikely.

I am stopping in Portland en route to a friends wedding in Union, WA which is about 2.5 hours drive north from here.  It's actually closer to Seattle but i've been there and have always wanted to visit Portland.  So i flew a day in advance of the wedding to relax and will take an easy drive up there tomorrow morning.

I certainly need to relax, yesterday i avoided a catastrophe of epic proportions and my heart is still trying to get back to it's resting rate.  In short, i nearly set fire to my bridesmaid dress. (Gosh Elicia oh lovely bride-to-be, i hope you are not reading this!!)  It was like something out of a bad movie similar to 27 dresses or something equally pitiful and crap .  I was tired/ hungover sightly and was packing. I put one of my bedside lamps on the floor to look for a rogue shoe under the bed. When i found it, i took the dresses i was bringing to the wedding, the rehearsal dress, the post wedding brunch dress and of course The bridesmaid Dress that was in a black plastic suit cover and threw them onto my bed.  Then i went out.  I had planned to be out all day but before heading into the city for a work meeting i popped home for something. Shortly thereafter i smell what i thought was burning hair. I explored the apartment and my life flashed before my eyes when i saw the light of my lamp muffled by dresses.  I pulled the dresses off and found one of the them completely stuck to the lamp. I now have a scorched $300 dress that i have only worn once and had planned to wear for the rehearsal dinner with a hole i could put my fist through. The cream vintage underslip has a matching hole and i have a pink skirt with slight scorch mark.  What about the Bridesmaid dress though...well, at first i thought it made it out unscathed but unfortunately not.  To my horror, utter horror, the lamp had burned the plastic cover and it was stuck to the dress. I pulled it off and it left me with about a 2 inch patch of burnt plastic attached to the dress.  It took several hours of painstakingly picking at it with tweezers to remove it.  The dress is cornflower blue so it was very noticeable. Now i am left with what looks like a 2 inch fluffy bleach stain on the front of the dress where the top layer of the fabric was pulled off and i am going to just hope that the bride doesn't notice.  It will be funny after. Hilarious in fact. Right now...i am shitting myself she'll see it.  I could of burned my apartment down...i hadn't even thought about that. Idiot.

So i've spent the day unwinding. I took the Max Light Rail to Downtown Portland and took myself on an outdoor public art walk.  I sat and had a 'Honkin' Huge Burrito' in Pioneer Sq and watched an outdoor concert while i got my bearings.  I got hit on, which was flattering. What is it with me and the jobless and homeless?

Talking of which, Portland has that in common with Seattle. As with Seattle i've notice a large youth homeless population here. More meth and heroin addicts than you see in NY where the homeless seem to be of the older boozed up variety. I think it's unexpected and perhaps more noticeable because it's in stark contrast to the wholesome, green, healthy Portland that the city promotes.  Does everyone own a mountain bike? I've spent the whole day sneezing just because the air is so fresh and my nose is completely freaked out.

It seems more shocking to see a group of strung out crack addicts huddled around a coke can with the glorious Mount Hood as the backdrop rather than compared to some back alley on the L.E.S where it's almost expected. I have seen more open drug taking here in one day than i have seen in a whole year in NY. At the same time, every panhandler i've met today (i've met a few!) have been incredibly polite when i've declined to give them any money. (I bought one guy a burrito instead )I get called a bitch at least once a day in NY.

I stopped by the much recommended Powell's Book Store which is the largest second hand book store in the country, possibly the world and spent far too much time getting lost in the travel section.  I also stopped by Voodoo Donuts, a donut hole-in-the wall place i heard about from a guy in the camera store where i bought the ridiculously attractive Leica Lux-2. Ma, bad. I only went in for a battery.  Voodoo's slogan is "The Magic Is In The Hole". You can buy panties.  I'll be sending the donut photo and little blurb into Bret at The Blog Nut

I walked through Chinatown, Old Town, Pearl District which i liked a lot and reminded me a lot of Austin, TX.  I finished up by walking along the river and over the very cool Steel Bridge.

Now, after a work out in the hotel gym i'm all about cable TV.  

Miles travelled: 2,896 

Currently Reading: Sellevision - Augusten Burroughs

Currently Listening to: 'Portland, Oregon' - Loretta Lynn, 'Mount Washington' - Beth Orton

Movies Watched: Drillbit Taylor  - Owen Wilson/Apatow number.

Baltimore, MD

I've been in Baltimore, MD since yesterday and thankfully i leave tomorrow.  That's unfair as i have never been outside of the Inner Harbor area but i just never feel inspired by Baltimore enough to get off my arse and get around.  Next time i shall book myself an extra day to make it to the other side of the harbor at least.

I rode the train down from NY which was fine but i need to remind myself to get the quiet car on the way home. The train had been invaded by a dozen female divorcee's aka The First Wives Club who whinged the whole way about their badly behaved ex husbands but waxed lyrical about how wonderful their scrap book seminar was although not as wonderful as NY cheese cake. I could go on...

I'm at a conference in a nondescript Hyatt Hotel bored out of my wits and there are so many Maryland Crab Cakes one can eat in one day to relieve it.

Instead i am looking over a portrait of Robert Downey Jnr that my friend Elspeth drew. I heart RDJ.

Listening to: Hyatt Lobby Music

Currently Reading:   About Time Dilation on www.howstuffworks.com . Told you i was bored.

Trinity College, Dublin, Ireland

The sun is shining and i am sitting on the playing fields around Trinity College.Unfortunately i am solo because Krista is sleeping off a killer hangover. Bless.

Krista arrived yesterday around noon and prior to her arrival i made the most of my hotel room and just lounged around, ate the orange chocolate cookies it provided and watched bad TV.

In attempt to soak up some of Dublin's culture, a group of us went to the Hugh Lane Gallery. I was unimpressed by the modern art on show but found the Francis Bacon Studio pretty interesting. My favorite part was a video showing an interview with Francis Bacon and Melvyn Bragg from the 70's. FB just doesn't want to play ball and makes the interview quite painful for Melvyn Bragg with yes and no answers.

We had a great lunch there too, the food at the cafe was delicious with me opting for the Smoked Salmon quiche that came with a great bean salad.

The food did not rival our evening meal though where a couple of us pushed the boat out.  Mark, Tara, Krista and I went to The Mermaid Cafe in Temple Bar. It's apparently one of Dublin's best and i have to say the food would be hard pressed to beat. The menu and surroundings reminded me a lot of Grocery in Brooklyn and possibly Chestnut. The menu is French meets East Coast American and it has a very specialised menu that changes seasonally.

We started with a plate of Antipasti for the table that the chef put together for the evening, there was duck and walnuts, smoked salmon and slaw, crab cakes, roasted tomatoes and the most delicious buffalo mozarella soaked in creme freche and herbs.

My main was amazing, Pork belly on red cabbage topped with a baked apple. The pork was perfect and the cabbage, although very rich was really tasty. I don't know what the reduction was because i couldn't place it but it was delicious.

Another National gig followed. This time i was on the floor right at the front of the stage. I haven't been to the front of the stage since i was about 17 but there wasn't a mosh pit in sight so i made the most of the polite audience.  There were some bad dancers though who kept putting me off my head nodding. A girl in front of me in the boob tube dress who looked like she was from the movie Footloose, danced like one of the chicks from the Addicted to Love video no matter what the tempo of the song played and without any rhythm. Not as bad as the girl next to my new friend Zena who busted out some Axel Rose moves as she sang along to every single song the band played.

On to Whelans again which is where Krista got the hangover. I just don't like the place, it's too busy and a complete cattle market. You dare make eye contact with any fella there as the next thing you know they've got they're arms around you and beer breath in your face.  Very boisterous and loud...i'm getting old.

So bright and early, i left Katie's and Juan's  (Friends of Krista that we are staying with) place in Ranalagh and jumped on the tram to Trinity College. I was interested in seeing Old Library, especially the Long Room which was amazing. What an amazing place, i love the smell of old books and found it to be very relaxing regardless of the hordes of tourists. I also went to see the Book of Kells. Written in 800 by monks it contains 4 gospels of the old testament in latin...blah, blah, blah, blah.

So i've done a spot of shopping, specifically for a special whiskey that can only be bought in one store in Dublin. So what to do next before i catch up with the gang for tonights festivities...hmmm...

Dublin, Ireland

It's 3am and i'm writing this post several glasses of wine so watch out.

I arrived around 5pm, a couple of hours later than scheduled but that's Ryan Air for you. A shame too because for the first time in years i was way early for a flight. I have so many trips planned that i couldn't remember the time of my flight and seeing as i was up i just made my way to the airport and got there 3 hours before check in.  Someone else got there slightly early and made the most of it in the bar.

I was in Boots around 11ish when a woman came crashing through the aisle and landed on a lump on the floor. She was murmering and seemed pretty listless so thinking she may be diabetic i made my way over to see if she was ok, i smelt the booze 20 paces away.  Several of us helped her to a chair where she happily declared that she was 'drunk and proud'. She was also on my flight to Dublin but i have a feeling that they didn't let her on.

There is nothing at Gatwick, so after a couple of failed attempts at trying on some swim suits i plonked myself down with my book. At some point i got hungry, unfortunately there was only MacDonalds, pizza and fish and chips on offer so i picked something up at Boots.  I went the healthy route and plumped for the 74 calorie crayfish and rocket salad. It looked ok but i was really caught up with the 'an ocean shimmy across your tastebuds'...yummy, an ocean shimmy sounded lovely.  I was severly disappointed, it tasted like dust. Something so healthy you couldn't taste it.

Once in Dublin i jumped on the 748 to Woods Quay which is a hop, skip and a jump from the hotel i am in  The Paramount. A very nice hotel in the Temple Bar area of Dublin. I lucked out with a very big room for very little moneys. A big bed with plush linens and leather head board, large bathroom and flat screen tv. Looks onto the very bus Temple Bar area but is still quiet.

One of the reasons i am here in Dublin is to see a friends band, The National play at the nearby Olympia Theatre (the main reasons are my friend Marc whose pals with the band and my friend Krista who arrives in the morning)  The hotel is just around the corner and it seems most of the band is staying here too which is convenient.  The gig was great and the venue was too. Intimate but large at the same time with a 1600 capacity crowd. We had boxes overlooking the stage and as much as i have seen them like 10 times, it was the first time seeing them outside of NY.

After the gig we headed to Whelans which is another live venue & bar 10 minutes away. We ended the night on a chip butty hybrid. It should of been expected coming from the kebab shop yet i was still shocked to see it made up of fries in a pita bread with yoghurt sauce. Highly controversial .

Miles travelled: 396

Listening to: Birdhouse in you soul - They Might Be Giants. Blast from the past!

Heathrow Airport, London

I screwed up my rental car booking so i have two hours to kill which is the only reason i am writing anything on this blog. I've checked my email, read the BBC website, The Onion and floated about Facebook for 5 minutes. Now i am bored. In my booking i said i was arriving at midday and i arrived here at 8am. They are out of cars until 10am. Oh the joy.

The flight was uneventful. I didn't sleep as usual. I sat next to a couple from Arizona celebrating 50 years together by going to London and Tuscany. I spent most of the time wondering how anybody could spend 50 years with someone else. Quite the feat and one that i would be hard pressed to beat seeing as i can't imagining wanting to spend more than a week with anyone else at the moment.

The inflight entertainment was dire. I watched CSI reruns and then had to plump for The Bucket List with Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman. It wasn't as bad as i was expecting but it wasn't good either. It was no About Schmidt that's for sure. Spoiler Alert! Morgan Freeman dies which was quite touching. The rest of the time i played my ipod and read.

Well, I'm on my second can of Red Bull or Liquid Meth as my friend Lenny calls it and have about 20 minutes to kill. I bought The Guardian this morning and it has a 'Learn the Guitar' pull out. A 68 page guide from the likes of Slash, Johnny Marr and err...Francis Rossi of Status Quo fame. If only i had a guitar on me....


Miles Travelled: 3483

Listening to: Portishead - Third

Watching: CSI reruns as previously mentioned and The Bucket List.

Reading: The Guardian Weekend Edition

Little Rock, AR

I'm back in Little Rock, Arkansas.  My trip here was pretty seamless, flying Delta via Atlanta. I did sit in front and behind the biggest yahoo's on the planet and it seemed like it was a conspiracy with the number of crying babies around me but nothing a good playlist on the ipod couldn't block out.

The plane landed on time despite changing in Atlana which is practically unheard of these days. It was the first time i had flown into Little Rock in the daylight and the view was beautiful. Very pastoral, the fields were a lovely deep green and spanned for miles and miles like a lush patchwork quilt. I couldn't help but think i'd be quite happy jumping out of that plane (with shute obviously) and spending a couple of weeks just wandering through fields, sleeping in barns and washing in the streams...then reality hit and i remembered all the cow shit in dem fields and barns.

I'm staying at The Holiday Inn Presidential downtown..not that there is an uptown Little Rock or anything.  It's funny this Presidental hotel.  The restaurant is called Camp David and you can get a Bush Burger (mushrooms and bbq sauce) or the Clinton Club. I wonder what they will add next, could it be the Obama Omlette? the Hilary Hash Browns or worryingly the Mcain Melt. My colleague really wanted it but wouldn't order the Bush Burger out of principal. I had the Grilled tuna salad but secretly wanted the ribs.

Currently Listening to: Beth Orton - Trailer Park, Taken By Trees - Open Field

Currently Reading: The Last of Her Kind - Sigrid Nunez

Los Angeles, CA

I landed in LA at around 4.30pm PST today. It's a beautiful day in LA at 73 degrees.

I wasn't sure if the plane was going to be able to take off with the vast amount of fake boobs on board but we got to our 30,000 ft eventually.

It's funny how sometimes it's so easy to determine where that flight might be heading to just by the people in the departure lounge. The seats outside gate 74 at Newark were full of fake tanned, Juicy tracksuit and Ugg Boot wearing bottle blondes in need of a good meal and a good hairdresser. I'm not being bitchy, well maybe i am but it's true regardless. I'm not saying that everyone in LA looks like a washed up Barbie doll but there were plenty on my flight.

Along with the usual abundance of uber hot gay male models. Those i'm not complaining about. My only complaint is that i didn't have any sitting next to me so i couldn't perve over their perfectly honed bodies and pretend to fall asleep and rest my shoulder on their perfectly pressed Abercrombie t-shirts that smell like baby powder and model sweat. I had a lovely Asian couple instead who fed me sweeties.

I had planned on hanging with friends tonight but i'm tired. So i'm making the most of my hotel room by raiding the mini bar and drinking $8 bottles of Evian. I'm so rock n roll.

I went around the corner to my favorite LA Sushi place on Beverly Blvd called Hirozen but i was too early and it wasn't open. So instead of waiting, my impatience got the better of me and i tried somewhere else. A decision i know by tomorrow morning i will come to regret more than i do now. I won't even put a link to this Sushi Cafe place as it was that dire. $30 for grey looking sushi. Grey salmon, grey yellowtail, grey tune...Brrrr. Stupidly I had a couple of pieces because i was so hungry but i am already regretting my decision.

I'm at a couple of clients tomorrow, clients i like so hopefully it will be a good day. Flying to San Jose in the evening.

Miles Travelled: 2454 

Currently Listening to: Cat Power - The Greatest

Currently Watching: Law & Order Re-runs. 

Cleveland Airport, Cleveland, OH

Small layover in Cleveland from Milwaukee. I'm en route to my flight back to NY. Man walking towards me in my sight range.

Over middle-aged, over weight, over smiley man in pilot uniform, aviator shades and leather bomber jacket.  

As we pass each other, man quickly leans in and breaths 

"What's happening sugar"?

I'm bemused. Obviously. I look around me. Nobody else in ear shot. I look back at him.  He's walking backwards and with a finger pointed right at me he says

"Yes you little darlin'"

Yes he said that and he winked. I couldn't see his eyes behind the shades but there was the squishing of the left cheek and the furrow of the brow. Definitely a wink.

I keep walking. Away.

Currently Reading: Lolita by Nabakov. I'm still reading this. Still struggling with subject matter but won't give up and shall continue to struggle because it's so beautifully written. Damn that Nabakov.

Currently Listening to: Andrew Bird - Armchair Apocrypha

Miles Travelled: 456

Milwaukee, WI

A quick business trip to Milwaukee this time. I got in at 10pm (via Cleveland) and i'll hopefully be gone by lunchtime tomorrow. Not that i don't like Milwaukee, i love it and not just because it's the home of my good friend BB but because i think it's a great welcoming city in general and i've had some fun times here...mainly due to BB.
Unfortunately because i am only here for a short while i won't get in any BB time but i'm hoping the meeting goes well tomorrow and i'll have to come back soon.

On a previous visit to Milwaukee BB and i propped up the bar of The Ambassador Hotel and remembering that i enjoyed both the decor and the drinks i booked myself a room.
I am SO glad i did. It's a lovely at deco hotel, very professional staff, great sized comfy rooms with Aveda bathroom products and free Wifi.
I am a woman of small pleasures and for me just that fact that room service was still open past 10pm put a huge smile on my face. Flying early evening is always a pain because it's difficult to eat something at a reasonable hour. I stopped in Cleveland and i expected to go to bed hungry because the food in the airport is terrible. It's either Pizza hut express or hard over baked bagels, i prefer hunger pains to bad food cramps.

So within 30 minutes of checking in, here i sit in a bright airy room, propped up by fluffy pillows on a very comfortable not overly large bed with a scrumptious flat bread pizza of roast chicken, artichokes, caramelized onions and cheese about to be washed down with a cold San Pellegrino and fresh lemon. Just switched on the TV and guess what's just about to start...Lethal Weapon 3!! Woo hoo!! I'm a simple gal indeed.

Little Rock, Arkansas

I'm now sitting in Little Rock airport bored senseless due to a 3 hour delay. I was supposed to be back in NYC around 5pm this afternoon but now i'll be lucky to be home before 10pm. Ouch.

I am slightly sad to be leaving Little Rock, it has felt more like a vacation than a business trip. Not too sad as i have scheduled to come back in a month when i here it will be at it's most prettiest with wild flowers and trees fully flush with blossom.
The clients have been wonderful and so grateful for my help, i only wish all my clients could be the same. They've done a great job of showing me Little Rock and in helping me pile on the not needed pounds.

Last night i was treated to a meal at The Flying Fish in Little Rock which was amazing. I had a whole pound of hot boiled succulent shrimp with corn and a new potato paired with a gigantic frozen margarita that a true mexican wouldn't touch with a barge pole.
I should of had the catfish but i am truly done with fried food for a while and the shrimp looked so good. The atmosphere of the place was great although ordering was slightly daunting as they had a huge wall of different fish and combinations. I am not the most decisiive when it comes to picking food as i want it all so it was slightly painful. Otherwise it was just picnic tables and fishing paraphenalia. My personal favorite was a wall full of framed fishing pictures of customers, i wanted that wall for my apt.
It all ended sour though as the paprika that covered the shrimp got into my left eye and then because of my fluffing, the right eye. So i staggered out of there completely blind due to my eyes streaming and nearly got hit by oncoming traffic.

Well, my flight is apparently about to board so goodbye Little Rock. Until next time.

Little Rock, Arkansas

I arrived yesterday after a 9 hour trek from NYC via Cincinnatti. We were stuck at the gate at JFK for an hour while they towed an Air China airbus that was blocking our path out of the way. The winds then changed direction so after taking 20 minutes to reach the runway in one direction, we had to turn around and go back in the other. All in all we were about 2 hours delayed and even the pilot could not hide the embarrassment in his voice.
It was worth it when i embarked at Cincinatti airport though because the first thing i spotted was someone carrying a Chick-Fil-A cup. Chick-Fil-A is the king of all junk foods in my book and the idea of getting a healthy salad and a glass of wine was soon replaced with a Classic Chicken Sandwich, Waffle Fries, 8 nuggets with that delicious Polynesian sauce and a full.fat.coke. Why oh why do we not have this mecca to chicken in NYC?

I'm actually going to put on about 10 pounds in this trip with all the eating i'm doing. After a huge breakfast (Something i rarely have) the clients took me to an award winning, "world champion' bbq house called The Whole Hog Cafe.
I had meat sweats lasting the rest of the day and thought i might die from a meat enduced heart attack.

Tonight is deep fried Catfish. It's a Little Rock specialty and i don't want to disappoint my clients who take great pride in their state and the catfish it deep fries. When will i learn?

I Heart Little Rock. I don't know why but i like all these southern/mid western cities that line the Mississippi. So much space, huge industrial office spaces and wide open streets lined with vacant lots and houses with wrap around porches. They are almost desolate when you comapre them to cities like New York yet you can always find something of interest. For me it's the William J. Clinton Presidential Library (which was very cool) and the food. I'd really like to spend some time here around the national parks, Arkansas has a serious amount of national parks and hiking trails. I have to come back next month so am thinking of scheduling a little R&R on the back of it.

I'm going for a quick run now so i can fit in some biscuits and gravy with my catfish. I am a glutton for punishment i know.

Bangkok, Thailand

It's 9.15pm and i should be getting some sleep before my 3.30am wake up call. I am back at Reflections hotel and have a lovely Shitake Mushroom soup and duck with rice waiting for me back in my room..my last meal in Thailand.

It was sad to leave Laos but i was glad i made it in one piece. I had spent the whole time scaring people who were flying Laos airlines because they have a terrible safety record only to find that i had to fly them as Thai Airways back to Bangkok were sold out. The landing was sketchy but all in all it was a good flight.

Ventiane was great. I wish i could of spent more time there. It was very like some European cities but then it has been heavily influenced by French culture. It is a long weekend here so finding a hotel was horrendous, everywhere was booked out but i was saved by an Aussie knight on a motorcycle who carried me off to some plush place for $20 a night. We had dinner but then i was in bed asleep by 10pm being so tired from my kayak trip.

Today i got a tattoo. Not the best timing because i have to sit on my arse for 20 plus hours and that is where it is. I had a tattoo 12 years ago in Indonesia so decided to get it touched up and expanded while back in Asia...it hurts.

So, a quick shopping spree, stuffing my bag with fishermans pants (Lisa i have you covered!) and another Thai massage and now i'm off to bed.

It has been a fantastic trip, much of it i could not write up in here as both you and i will of been at the computer for hours. I shall miss the people i have met both Thais, Laotians and westerners. I will miss the food of both places along with the landscape much of which has been breathtaking. I won't miss the ridiculous money, the Kip especially which is 17,000 to a single pound (the dollar is doing terrible here). I won't misss the language because i find it frustrating and cannot speak a word. Thank you and Hello are even painful for me. I will both miss and be glad to see the back of the tuk-tuk and i won't be eating rice for a good few weeks. I also can't wait to get rid of this Eau De Mekong that has been lingering on my skin the last few days. Goodbye to organic pineapple shakes in the mornings, i will miss thee.
Saying all that i wish i was staying and could easily keep going for months as i'm quite good for this kind of life but reality beckons.

Currently Reading: Out of Africa

Vientiane, Laos

Today started off quite badly with the only hangover of the trip. Unfortunately it was a HUGE one and i had to Kayak 20 kilometers, jump off a cliff and climb over rocks (many of which i had to puke behind) all in 90 degree heat. It was painful. With no ginger ale or macdonalds in sight, i had to recover cold turkey with just a bottle of water and sticky rice.
Lesson learned: Do not take on the Laos in a drinking contest, they will always win. The owners of our guest house were celebrating National Womens Day with a picnic and crates and crates of Beer Lao. I had baby sat their kid while they ate yesterday so now they have adopted me and invited us to celebrate with them. They did not seem to care or understand that i don't drink beer and not wanting to be rude i didn't want to refuse it...or the Lao Whiskey shots..Brrrrr i feel sick even writing this. It was chaos. I have no idea how the evening went but i woke at 7am with all my clothes on, still drunk. Not funny or clever.

I am now in Vientiane partially recovered and just made the guiness book of records for people on a tuk-tuk. 27 people consisting of 23 Laos, 1 English, 2 Canadians and 1 German. We had someone playing the Melodia, a cat and the german guy carried a massive hearing device for capturing bird sounds (nerd alert!)...it almost sounds like a joke.

Vang Vieng, Laos

I loved Luang Prabang and could of stayed at least a week. I spent my last day walking the rivers, going into more temples and eating eating Laos BBQ. Which is not quite Texas BBQ but tasty all the same. Basically it is a big pot on a wood fire and in the pot you throw chicken stock, veggies, chillis, eggs and garlic and above that is a level for you to grill the meat or fish. Delicious and very healthy, i shall try and get one in my backpack to replace my stolen BBQ in Brooklyn.

I jumped the 7pm bus out of LP and i must say that night buses here are dodgy.

Now he was either a bodyguard to protect us from bandits or he is still on the run from events in Vietnam and no idea the war was over, but the dude in the front seat had a full on semi-automatic machine gun. My fear was that it was the latter and he would have a flash back at any minute and shoot the lot of us. So i stayed awake the whole 7 hours.


So now i am in Vang Vieng 7 hours south. Why was i sad about leaving Luang Prabang for Vang Vieng? If LP is the arts and culture capital, VV is the capital of fun.
I had read about this place on the travel snob blogs and had turned my snobby nose up to it as i read about it being a back packer mecca. That it is, but when the whole area is built for adventure sports and exhessive drinking then you could hardly blame them for coming.


Danger = Tubing + $3 Vodka Buckets + zip lines and river swings.


Surrounded by stunning scenery, nestled between the hills on the banks of several rivers, VV is full of adventure sports like cycling, hiking, rock climbing, kayaking and the most popular, tubing. Yesterday we rented tubes and floated down the river and stopped at various bars on the banks along the way which sold alcoholic drinks like the delicious Mulberry Mojito. I then threw myself down a zip line, somersaulted and landed on my back from a great height, only to tube down to the next place and do the same again. and again. and again. How i did not puke, drown or break something i do not know. I am just glad i drew the line at eating the happy omelettes and magic shakes, especially when i lost my crowd and ended up tube in the pitch black with a bunch of drunken and amorous Swedes.
The parties went on until very late, with DJ's and bonfires. Lots of people very unafraid of touting the no marijuans laws along with the governments 11.00pm curfew. I abided both seeing no future in 6 years in the Lao version of the Bangkok Hilton.

So up early again this morning. I am going to cycle the area and meet up with the gang later. I have some photography to do.

Tomorrow i kayak to the countries capital Vientiene for my last night in Laos. I had planned on leaving Laos early for a 3 day spa in Krabi but Laos is really, really interesting as well as beautiful. Much of what i have learned i haven't written here as it is not a geography lesson but i can't wait to bore you to death when i get back.

Until then, more drunken tubing...YAY!

Currently listening to: Damian Marley - Welcome to Jamrock, M.I.A. - Arular, Manu Chao (All good choices when on a bus at night in the jungle with a machine gun holding dude)

Currently Reading: The Book of Illusions - Paul Auster

Luang Prabang, Laos

Everybody, every single body should experience a Laos night club once in their life. It was sort of a cabaret place, like The Love Boat but with the Venga Boys and Line Dancing. Being the only westerners there they took much pleasure in our painful dance moves as they flowed between routines and we threw shapes never quite seen before. Unfortunately they have a curfew here so all the lights came on at 11pm and it was all over. I could of line danced my way to the break of dawn.
Another great source of entertainment here in Laos is bowling. 2km out of town and a whole new world opened itself up. We made friends we the group next door to us and bowled ladyboy style for several hours. I came last. I think the lanes were wonky.
Yesterday i was quite productive and went to the The Grand Palace which is now a museum and saw a photography exhibition of the Floating Buddha which was pretty amazing. Luang Prabang really is a great cultural center and there are many great art and dance studios amongst the stunning temples. My plan was to visit most of these but en route to the next temple i was jumped upon by a couple of friends in a Tuk Tuk heading to some waterfalls an hour or so away. Everybody loves a waterfall so off i went and i'm glad i did.They were lovely and unlike all the others i have seen here, you could swim in them. There were jumping ropes and you could dive under the falls to caves at the back...the only con was that i was freezing.
We got back just in time to climb Phu Hu hill to the temple and watch the sunset because everybody loves a sunset. Then dinner which was a Laos fish curry...let's just say that Delhi belly is not only reserved for Delhi.
So, today i will get back to looking around LP and i also have a couple of spa treatments lined up. Yesterday i had a pedicure for $3, today a $10 body scrub so any tan i might have is about to be rubbed off. Tonight i get the bus to Vang Vieng...boo hoo!

Luang Prabang, Laos

I arrived in Luang Prabang early this evening. On first look it appears to be very lovely, quite sophisticated in a way i was not expecting. The night bizarre's are much more colourful and organised than in Thailand with beautiful handicrafts, and the people seem very friendly. This i am grateful for because so far in terms of people friendliness the Laotians were letting the South East Asia team down.
The slow boat was amazing in terms of scenery, unmatched probably than anywhere else i have ever been in the world. Absolutely gorgeous and untouched by the western world. The first day we punted along for about 7 hours and i did not read one word of my book or listen to a single song on my ipod as i couldn't stop looking at the scenery. Fishermen, women washing, children swimming, rock formations, waterfalls... Occasionally my daydream was rudely interrupted by a loud speed boat loaded with the fools that took the fast boat. Wearing crashing helmets and racing along at dangerous speed it looked stupid and a complete waste of being in Laos, very few people do it and i see why. I was still with Tasha and Frankie the Spanish hairdresser (Peter the dutch cyclist went a different route) and on the boat met a variety of people from Argentina, Australia, Canada and Germany, all really pleasant and laid back. The benches were not the most comfortable and i admit i wish i was one of the people that bought a cushion.
We stopped half way down the river after 7 hours for the night and this is where things got slightly stressful. We were charged by a bunch of kids who jumped on and took our bags, demanding money to get them back./ As you can imagine, this did not wash with me. It was then a break for it to find a bed for the night where many Laotian guest house owners lied about the facilities and tried to bump the price, along with being rude. All quite stressful and the place was a dump, a lot like a border town in Mexico. So bad i have forgotten the name of the town already. A complete disappointment. Still we soon calmed down with a beer and some Laotian curries.
This morning we started over again and this time a stressful start , they tried to put too many people on the boats. They should only hold 80 people and more than 100 were on board and they still tried to fit more people on so we had a mexican stand off and demanded another boat. People fell in the river, bags were thrown....quite the scene.
Eventually, we were on the move and it was much of the same as the day before but different people. Really, really amazing and i would do the trip 10 times over again. This time i sat with a couple of great girls from Brighton, Jenna and Stephanie and a bunch of easy on the eye lads from Argentina.
Now i am in Luang Prabang and after a delicious Lao streetside buffet and a glass of wine (WINE !!), Laos is starting to redeem itself. I look forward to seeing tomorrow why LP was recently named a World Heritage site.
That's after we check out the line dancing at the local disco..i kid you not!